RIFFamily wrote:

"Old Gray Cemetery was used as a recreational park for many residents of the
surrounding neighborhoods. At one time, the cemetery was a popular
destination for social get-together's after church services on Sunday."

*****************************

This reminds me of old Homecoming Days the country churches in my area would
hold, when all the families and former church members would return to honor
those left behind in the church's cemetery (every little country church has
one around here) and to do maintenance and clean up on the church and
cemetery grounds. Families would spread lunches out among the gravestones
after Sunday church when the preacher preached like he would never take the
pulpit again and ate a good meal together, then set about their work while
the children played - in the cemetery.

Being more of a town girl than a country girl, I was aware of but not well
versed in the Homecoming Day customs, so I was a bit shocked when after
one such Homecoming one of my little baseball players showed up for practice
with his leg in a cast. To my horror (quaint as the Homecoming custom
sounds, I have never been able to reconcile myself to it), he told me a
tombstone had fallen on his leg and broken it. He told me he had gotten in
BIG trouble and I asked him if that was because he had been playing in the
cemetery and he said "No, it was because I knocked Uncle Harry's headstone
over - again".

I still can't imagine eating a meal in a cemetery, or hanging out there, or
letting my kids play there, but I have to say I do admire the approach some
folks are able to take with respect to cemeteries, of treating them as a
normal outcome of life and living and so nothing to be treated with any more
or less respect than should be due to any living being. If we can't treat
each other with respect and care while we are alive, why should we expect
respect and care when we are dead?
--
Barefoot Lucy, DCP
"It's not about footwear, it's about philosophy"


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In my neck of the woods, birthday celebrations at a child's gravesite can be
very popular. And often, they're not quiet, somber affairs.

Also in my neck of the woods, the Hispanic Day of the Dead celebrations can
get pretty durn elaborate in a couple of these cemeteries.

There was also recently a family that arranged to have a horse drawn hearse
at a local cemetery because the deceased had been heavily into horses.
Horrors! The horse pooped in the cemetery. Nobody thought twice about it
however, because the culture of the area is "horsey." Yes, it was cleaned
up. Would it cause anyone present that day to think horses should never be
allowed in cemeteries however? Nope. Just clean up & move on.

I've also seen some very odd voodoo like celebrations going on in one of
Chicago's cemeteries with a family at a gravesite. Was I interested in
hanging around for that? Noooooooo, I just backed right on outta there.
Very quietly. Verrrry quietly. But would I ever say it was wrong or
inappropriate or whatever. Nope. It's not my call to say.

And then there are the gangbangers........

Don't get me wrong. I don't advocate gangs anymore than I advocate dogs
peeing on headstones. But.......they can be a very large presence and a
very large culture at one or two of the cemeteries in the area, and they
have their own culture when they come once a year to celebrate the death of
a fellow high-ranking gang member. There's a local cemetery that has more
than their share of gang members buried there because they donate a certain
number of graves to poverty level families that otherwise wouldn't be able
actually afford a plot someplace -- so it's a courtesy to the parents, not
to the gang members, and families come out from Chicago to bury their slain
teens there. And then the family slowly saves up for a headstone. The gang
members tend to arrive either close to closing or right after so that they
won't disturb other folks, and then they have quite a party, and not always,
but generally clean up quite well afterwards. Is it wrong? I dunno. The
cemetery management is OK with it. It's their call, not mine.

And like I said in another post, my mother's huge Irish family gets together
once a year at my grandmothers' gravesite. It's a very large annual family
picnic. No grills, but blankets and picnic baskets all spread out and a lot
of Irish "tunin'" going on. The cemetery management has no problem with it.
Might someone else who shows up at the cemetery think it's "rude?" Sure.
But they're welcome to join in -- there's always plenty of good food and
good music for everybody! :-)

For some people, cemeteries aren't just to mourn for the dead. They're also
to celebrate the *life* of that dead, and their life in the hereafter. Or
just life in general, particularly when it comes to children.

~~ Mosey ~~





-----Original Message-----
From: letterbox-usa@yahoogroups.com
[mailto:letterbox-usa@yahoogroups.com]On Behalf Of RIFamily
Sent: Tuesday, November 21, 2006 8:42 PM
To: letterbox-usa@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [LbNA] More cemetery thoughts


I quickly searched for some quotes about social uses of cemeteries in the
past. Here is a bit


Old Gray Cemetery was used as a recreational park for many residents of the
surrounding neighborhoods. At one time, the cemetery was a popular
destination for social get-together's after church services on Sunday. As
there were many influential members of the local society buried in Old Gray,
the cemetery grounds attracted a number of family members and visitors from
Knoxville's elite. Additionally, many courting couples used the cemetery for
"sparking" and an old beech tree still remaining in the cemetery serves as a
symbol of many loves now lost and forgotten. This tree, carved with many
hearts and initials, is a beautiful reminder of the importance of
preservation. Many locals also recount the "good ol' days" when the cemetery
was a favorite spot for sledding and playing tag. Even today, local
residents can be found using the roads of the cemetery for recreational uses
such as walking and running.

**************

Mount Auburn Cemetery (the country's first garden cemetery)

Our founders believed that burying and commemorating the dead was best done
in a tranquil and beautiful natural setting at a short distance from the
city center. They also believed that the Cemetery should be a place for the
living, "embellishing" the natural landscape with ornamental plantings,
monuments, fences, fountains and chapels. This inspired concept was copied
widely throughout the United States, giving birth to the rural cemetery
movement and the tradition of garden cemeteries. Their popularity led, in
turn, to the establishment of America's public parks.

*******************

The gardens fell into disrepair but have been partially restored and the
north end of the Cemetery is now a favourite spot for wedding photographers.
During summer weekends you will see more wedding cars than hearses at Union
Cemetery.

***************************

I had wanted to find a historical photo of an event (other than a Memorial
Day event or something like that) happening in a cemetery but I am just too
tired to continue the hunt.

My point is that someone mentioned how in the past cemeteries were multi
functional.... seen as a gathering place, for happy times, not only sad.

Do I think we should be having parties in cemeteries? Probably not, but
given the "right" occasion..... And do I think it's "ok" to climb on
interesting statues in cemeteries. Hmmm... maybe. Who wouldn't want to sit
atop an elephant statue, no matter where it is? If that same statue was
sitting outside the cemetery fence no one would object.

Should we do damage in cemeteries? Of course not, we shouldn't do that
anywhere. Should we only visit our dead relatives, talk in whispers and dab
at our eyes when we are in a cemetery? Nope, I don't agree with that.

I have been in college classes that went to cemeteries. We were a large
group, tramping through, we had laughs along the way, as well as lessons.
Why is that ok but a family who is having fun is not ok?

Blah... falling asleep at the keyboard, can't think straight enough to
futher my points.

Nite all.

RIFamily
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Yahoo! Groups Links

More thoughts on cemeteries. I love them. My grandmother dragged me around as a kid to
do family reseach, so as a kid I spent alot of time amusing my self in them.
In my home town the locals use it as a place to walk. No traffic and a great walking surface
on the roads. Show up on a sat. afternoon and a good part of the town is there getting
exersize.
Has anyone read the American Way of Death?

Isn't that Death by McDonalds?

mizscarlet731 wrote:
Has anyone read the American Way of Death?






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